Two days ago I arrived in Copenhagen for the COP15. I’m covering the conference for Grist.org. It’s a very beautiful (and expensive — hot dogs are $1600!) city that has been flooded with delegates, lobbyists, journalists, activists and an assortment of oddballs and kooks. I’ve spent the last few days exploring and adjusting from jet lag (Copenhagen is 30 hours ahead of New York). Here’s a video of my first day here:
I’ll be posting videos over the next week and a half from Copenhagen and the COP15. I still haven’t seen any Vikings, but I also haven’t stumbled through a time-travel-hole — YET! Here are a few photos:
I will be in Copenhagen from December 9th to the 19th covering the climate change conference (in a charmingly unruly, balls-out way) for Grist.org. Here’s a little promo video I made:
I’m very much looking forward to this trip. I’ve been reading and listening to countless things about climate change and Denmark. For instance, did you know that Denmark is so concerned with global warming, they tip-toe everywhere, so they don’t scare their trees from absorbing carbon dioxide? Wow! That is amazing. Okay. Bye bye for now.
Here’s a review of my new album in Blurt Magazine. It got eight stars, which I’m assuming is out of 10, but maybe it is out of 7 (which would be amazing) or out of 4302 (less impressive).
It began with seeing a few posters at bus stops around NY: Steven Seagal is about to have a TV show on A&E where he is a deputy sheriff in the south (near New Orleans I think). For those who don’t know, Steven Seagal is a celebrated marksman and a 7th-degree black belt in Slappity-Slap-kido (a form of Aikido that involves some magic and a lot of harsh slapping and dodging). Here’s a preview for his show:
One of my favorite lines, “I’ve studied martial arts for most of my life, so I have a lot of confidence in myself, but I really worry about my own team members sometimes. So, today I’m going to teach these boys some new tricks.” Unlike most policemen, Steven is so confident in his martial arts training, he’ll brazenly approach armed men — but he’s worried that his team might not have that same unnerving confidence (so he’s going to teach them how to flip tiny Asian men). I think he’s confusing himself with Batman.
As far as I can tell, this show is mostly Steven Seagal driving around, acting unreasonably cocky, and arresting slightly inebriated, somewhat-pleased-to-meet-him poor people. I don’t mean to make fun of him, considering from this short clip he was one of the three lead detectives who stopped a man from doing donuts in a parking lot and then sort of helped wrestle him out of the car, or not, can’t tell from the quick cutting.
In conclusion, here’s a Steven Seagal song that shines a light on the clash between religions (he suspiciously leaves out Wickens and Protestants?). I can say with certainty that Steven thinks violence is a bad way to solve religious conflicts. However, with his career as proof, he does think it’s a good way to stop corporate environmental abuse, corrupt cops, and Eric Bogosian.
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The lyrics, for those who don’t have time to listen to the whole song:
Do you fear me
You can’t stand to be near me
Well i come from a different place
My philosophy’s from outer space
My religion is strange
I think it’s cause you fear change
Afraid to try and understand
A stranger in a strange land
Don’t think i’m going away
You best believe i’m here to stay
Cause my God is better than your God
Maybe you don’t like my skin
Or what i believe in
You don’t like my prayer
You don’t like the clothes i wear
How many people have to die
For what one man might think is right
The true path to like is more than one
Why do you force your will with a gun
Let’s start another holy war
I’ll show you what i’m killing for
My God is better than your God
My God is bigger than yours
My God is better than your God
My God is bigger than yours
Well i’m a Muslim
I’m a Buddhist
I’m a Hindu, a Catholic, a Jew
Everything you fear in me is all a part of you
When there’s something you believe in
And there’s something you have to say
Don’t let the bullets preach for you to facilitate your way
Well beat me with your doctorine
Convert me if you can
Deliver me from the guilt
But leave me with the sin
Cause my God is better than your God
My God is bigger than yours
My God is better than your God
My God is bigger than yours
Would you like to hear a great cover? Press play below! Plus this song proves that Scientology doesn’t negatively affect your singing or ability to cover the Velvet Underground. In fact, it probably takes a Level 12 Thetan to do such a good job. Anyway, enjoy:
Here’s a little blurb from the Boston Globe on my CD release party at PA’s Lounge in Somerville. They forgot to mention that I had ice cream cake from Carvel, but that’s okay:
My new album, God Is a Twelve-Year-Old Boy With Asperger’s , is out today! Go buy it, please! I’d like to be 200 on the Billboard charts this week! We can do it (maybe, since CD sales are WAY down!)
You can get it from Sub Pop, Amazon, iTunes or wherever CDs are still sold (at least two other places I bet).
Also, here is what was intended to be the last track on the album written by John Wesley Harding and me (kind of):
