Are you a company looking to impress everyone who walks in through your door? Are you looking for something to tweet to get media buzz and eventually IPO? Of course you are — because you are savvy and understand the new world of social media that relies more on word-of-mouth than full page ads in evening papers or airplanes flying banners by a beach advertising your weird steak dinner. Your problem has been solved. By donating $1000 to our Kickstarter campaign to help fund the Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival you will receive a plaque that you can put up in your office, brag about to clients or simply impress your teenage children with. By clicking on, “Yes, my company wants the world to know that we are very, very cool and the best thing ever” you will be taking an important step towards a very profitable future. You might throw away more money on uneaten pasta and sandwiches at meetings about how your new phone system works. Why not give this a shot? Don’t you want to be mentioned in the New York Times or The Huffington Post as one of the companies that helped fund an Awkward Party Bus? Of course you do. I have no idea if that will happen, but your chances definitely increase if you pledge money. Thank you. Also, please do this before August 2nd, since there is a small chance everything will go out of business that day.
Below is what you plaque will say:
“This plaque is to certify that YOUR COMPANY’S NAME has donated graciously to the Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival. That means YOUR COMPANY’S NAME is cool and ‘gets it.’ It means YOUR COMPANY’S NAME is attractive, possibly environmentally friendly, and a generous lover. This plaque certifies that YOUR COMPANY’S NAME is a brand that can be trusted, even in a blizzard or during war-time. YOUR COMPANY’S NAME is number one and we love you. Sincerely, The Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival”