5/25/11

My Letter to Time Warner Cable

A few weeks ago I moved and arranged with Time Warner to move my cable. Just like when it happened to you, Time Warner Cable didn’t show up (twice) to our appointment. Their monolithic apathy to their inability to do what they say they will was frustrating, so I thought I’d make fun of them by writing a letter expressing my feelings and taking out full page ads in a few New York news papers running the letter.

You can see the ad on page 5 in this week’s Summer Guide issue of New York Press.

And here is the ad from the Greenpoint Gazette.

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Comments

  1. Philip Bernstein says:

    Fucking epic. Keep it up.

    May 25th, 2011 at 11:28 pm (#)

  2. Alan says:

    … file a complaint with the FCC and your local agency that grants cable systems the right to operate … just imagine if everyone this happened to did these two things, the system would choke to a halt …

    May 25th, 2011 at 11:44 pm (#)

  3. opsmgr says:

    Of course WE love it. We couldn’t NOT love it. Great job, Eugene. We will post copies of this where everyone we know will read it: inside the stall door AND over the urinal.

    Keep up the good work!

    May 25th, 2011 at 11:50 pm (#)

  4. Ep says:

    Nice job wasting money on those ads.

    May 26th, 2011 at 7:35 am (#)

  5. rh says:

    A friend linked this on her facebook page. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. You, sir, are comedy gold.

    May 26th, 2011 at 2:30 pm (#)

  6. ben says:

    I have been abused by TW countless times. This was a glorious read. Thank you sir!

    May 26th, 2011 at 6:10 pm (#)

  7. KG says:

    i told them to suck a bag of dicks on twitter once and was contacted by what i presume was their social media expert asking what was wrong.

    May 26th, 2011 at 7:38 pm (#)

  8. TWC Sucks says:

    Thank you for this. Thank you so much.

    Btw, if you really want to get on their nerves, you should email this letter to their Missy Mans, their regional VP of customer care:

    missy.mans@twcable.com

    You’ll probably get a response w/in 24 hours.

    May 26th, 2011 at 9:13 pm (#)

  9. Britt says:

    Any response yet?

    May 26th, 2011 at 9:55 pm (#)

  10. This Is The Best TimeWarner Cable Takedown Yet | Gizmodo Australia says:

    [...] over to Splitsider for the full evisceration. [Eugene Mirman via Splitsider] Tagged:entertainmenteugene mirmanhumourispstime [...]

    May 26th, 2011 at 11:08 pm (#)

  11. WATCH: Eugene Mirman’s Open Letter To Time Warner Cable says:

    [...] Via Eugene Mirman [...]

    May 27th, 2011 at 12:12 am (#)

  12. Dette er den bedste Time Warner Cable Takedown Alligevel [Humor] | PCTV says:

    [...] over til Splitsider for fuld udtagning. [ Eugene Mirman via Splitsider [...]

    May 27th, 2011 at 1:10 am (#)

  13. Ron Hyatt says:

    Typical Jew rant of the kind that leads to Obama.

    May 27th, 2011 at 1:56 am (#)

  14. turdburglar says:

    internet turd wants mirman in concentration camp:
    http://bored.knockknockrecords.com/index.php/topic,132281.0.html

    May 27th, 2011 at 2:49 am (#)

  15. Eugene Mirman Battles Time Warner Cable's Terrible Customer Service | The Laugh Button says:

    [...] then to publish a letter addressing the problem. Recently he has gained a lot of attention with his letter to Time Warner Cable about his experience with their [...]

    May 27th, 2011 at 11:31 am (#)

  16. Fred X. Quimby says:

    Learn to embrace PDFs, plz. One-size-fits-all scaled graphics is soooo 2001.

    May 27th, 2011 at 3:46 pm (#)

  17. Time Warner Beware: Eugene Mirman's Full-Page Ad Attacks TWC | HyperVocal says:

    [...] to Mirman’s site, Time Warner’s “monolithic apathy to their inability to do what they say they will was [...]

    May 27th, 2011 at 4:01 pm (#)

  18. Jennifer says:

    Great job! I think you spoke appropriately on behalf of the millions of other customers Time Warner has disappointed. My experiences were very similar to yours so I feel your pain. Well done!

    May 27th, 2011 at 5:42 pm (#)

  19. The Most Vicious “I Hate My Cable Company” Rant You’ll Ever Read – AllThingsD says:

    [...] did that, it wouldn’t have the same impact. But if Mirman hadn’t posted this to his Web site, who would have seen it? Also, have you ever really looked at your hands? I mean, really looked at [...]

    May 27th, 2011 at 6:07 pm (#)

  20. Eugene Mirman Says What You Think About Your Cable Company | Apt46 says:

    [...] Eugene Mirman, via someecards Share this: Entertainmentcable, eugene mirman, funny, text, time warner [...]

    May 27th, 2011 at 6:20 pm (#)

  21. Keith says:

    I don’t know whether you’re acquainted with the melody of the old song, “Waitin’ for the Robert E. Lee,” but here’s a parody of it on the subject of cable TV: http://www.petersonsparodies.com/cpoptin02.htm

    May 27th, 2011 at 6:44 pm (#)

  22. Franklin Jones says:

    Is your next joke going to involve airline food?

    May 28th, 2011 at 12:27 am (#)

  23. Eugene says:

    It will if the airline food arrives two weeks late.

    May 28th, 2011 at 1:06 pm (#)

  24. Franklin Jones says:

    Now that’s funny.

    May 28th, 2011 at 1:48 pm (#)

  25. Eugene Mirman Vs. Time Warner Cable « The Rhetorican says:

    [...] Man vs. Cable System: “A few weeks ago I moved and arranged with Time Warner to move my cable. Just like when it happened to you, Time Warner Cable didn’t show up (twice) to our appointment. Their monolithic apathy to their inability to do what they say they will was frustrating, so I thought I’d make fun of them by writing a letter expressing my feelings and taking out full page ads in a ….” [...]

    May 28th, 2011 at 3:31 pm (#)

  26. Robin says:

    Boy did you nail it; that’s what AT&T did when I moved — with a few extra fillips thrown in. Like not telling me when my appointment was, despite my repeated calls. Then sending me a last-minute email changing the agreed-upon date to the day *before* I legally had access to the apartment. Then telling me there were four separate pending orders for my account, all of which were for different dates. Then billing me three times what they were supposed to for my service. I lost days to the black hole of their “Customer Service” before it got sorted out. I salute you for being pointed, funny and inventive!

    May 28th, 2011 at 4:23 pm (#)

  27. Pbrain says:

    Why the hell did u pick Time-Warner then?

    May 29th, 2011 at 1:14 pm (#)

  28. Comedian has HAD IT with Time Warner Cable says:

    [...] Via The Splitsider / Eugene Mirman [...]

    May 29th, 2011 at 1:52 pm (#)

  29. Franklin Jones says:

    Can someone name a good phone/internet/cable provider? Seriously. I’d love to find one. Over the years I’ve had Sprint, Verizon, Cablevision, Time-Warner, and AT&T. I’ve had some kind of major debacle with all of them. I’m sure none of the others are any better.

    May 29th, 2011 at 5:30 pm (#)

  30. Aaron Stewart says:

    Franklin: The “Good phone/internet/cable provider” is a myth, much like the 2nd Avenue subway line and Apple’s open source movement.

    May 30th, 2011 at 8:05 am (#)

  31. Light Reading Cable - IP & Convergence - Netflix, YouTube to Ride Big OTT Revenue Wave - Telecom News Analysis says:

    [...] to see how Time Warner Cable Inc. (NYSE: TWC) responded on its corporate blog to an open letter from comedian Eugene Mirman, who panned the MSO for missing two appointments for a cable service [...]

    May 31st, 2011 at 3:23 pm (#)

  32. Eugene Mirman vs. Time Warner Cable = Full Page Advertising Rant | Stop the Cap! says:

    [...] content with any of this, Mirman spent $1,100 to take out full page ads in two weekly New York-area newspapers to register his [...]

    May 31st, 2011 at 5:54 pm (#)

  33. anderton25 says:

    A few weeks ago I moved and arranged with Time Warner to move my cable. Just like when it happened to you, Time Warner Cable didn

    June 1st, 2011 at 6:24 am (#)

  34. Mitch Leventhal says:

    I wish I could read this, but it’s too small. I tried pasting it into word, which works, but it’s too blurry to read. However, that being said, thanks for blasting Time Waster Cable…they ARE a PITA!

    June 1st, 2011 at 12:47 pm (#)

  35. Rocky says:

    “I bet if Ayn Rand was still alive, she’d write a fun to read, but poorly argued book about how appalling and inefficient your company is.”

    Bahahaaaaaahahahaaa!!! Hilarious!!!!

    June 2nd, 2011 at 1:54 am (#)

  36. Monday Medley « No Pun Intended says:

    [...] Eugene Mirman wrote a letter to Time Warner Cable. [...]

    June 6th, 2011 at 11:07 am (#)

  37. Tracy says:

    The ‘More Songs’ link on the Amazing Crooning Child leads to a dead page. I need to hear ‘Cats In The Cradle’ again! Please!!!!

    June 7th, 2011 at 6:54 pm (#)

  38. blair says:

    Update!..please?

    June 24th, 2011 at 6:47 pm (#)

  39. Dread Pirate Roberts says:

    What a complete waste of time and money! So after you got installed in the 6th, how much credit did you demand? Just stupid!!!

    July 8th, 2011 at 5:55 pm (#)

  40. Dread Pirate Roberts says:

    It’s funny, people like you get bad service, and when it’s resoved, you rag on them twice as much. I’ve had TWC for over, 15 years and have never had 1)poor service on site 2)Poor customer service. 3) 4 trouble calls in all these years. So it makes me wonder, if you people hate TWC so much, why do you give them your business?

    July 8th, 2011 at 5:59 pm (#)

  41. Toby Buel, Sr. says:

    Eugene – any advice where to go with this?

    My cable and internet went out yesterday so I called the cable co. after an hour to complain. It took awhiile to get thru to a human. Bottom line – to get a credit for the down time of no service I have to call back a second time after service was restored. They explained that this was to ‘help’ me to make sure that I got full credit for the entire time the cable was out! That explanation is a crock as they well know where the service is out and the REAL reason is very few customers have the time to call once, much, much less to bother with the second call. If they had to credit ALL the people they screw they might give better service!

    Is this the way they operate nationwiide? My local PSC says they have very limited jurisidiction as the FCC controls.

    What a RIP_OFF.

    July 15th, 2011 at 10:28 am (#)

  42. doyle says:

    I’m hungry.

    July 28th, 2011 at 4:55 pm (#)

  43. Autoankauf Köln says:

    Nice job wasting money on those ads.

    August 8th, 2011 at 3:42 pm (#)

  44. Janette Olp says:

    Fantastic page and simple to fully understand description. How can I go about getting permission to publish part of the post in my upcoming e-newsletter?

    September 13th, 2011 at 3:48 pm (#)

  45. uydunet says:

    I dont like wireless, cable systems everytime stable, thank you from uydunet.

    October 11th, 2011 at 10:56 am (#)

  46. kaylyn singh says:

    DEAR SIR/ MADAM,

    I AM WRITING THIS LETTER TO INFORM YOU THAT THE NUMBERS ON YOUR BILLS AND ADVERTISEMENTS ARE INCORRECT.

    I AM FROM THE COUNTRY OF TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO AND ONE OUT OF THE MANY NUMBERS ARE MINE. THE NUMBER IS 489-2669.

    THE NUMEROUS PHONE CALLS HAVE BECOME RATHER DISTURBING AND UNBEARABLE. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS MY PERSONAL PHONE AND IT WOULD BE VERY INCONVENIENT TO GET THE NUMBER CHANGED.

    THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR SEVERAL YEARS. I HAVE TRIED TO BE POLITE AND INFORM THEM THAT IT IS A INCORRECT NUMBER BUT THE CALLS CONTINUE.

    I APPEAL TO YOU TO TRY AND RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM. I WOULD BE SO GREATFUL. I THANK YOU FOR THE TIME YOU TOOK TO READ THIS.

    YOURS RESPECTFULLY,
    KAYLYN SINGH.
    (STUDENT)

    October 13th, 2011 at 8:06 pm (#)

  47. God is a Twelve-Year-Old Boy with Asperger’s (2009) | AutismPDA.com says:

    [...] Airlines, this track is much better than the play and Mirman has proven time and time again that angry letters, protests and general interactions with the world are always good for a laugh. var uri = [...]

    March 20th, 2012 at 3:06 pm (#)

  48. rt says:

    I want to thank you immensely for taking out these adds. I recently wasted about 10 hours of my life because TWC failed to deliver services they promised and then attempted to swindle me out of a great deal of money. Their own technician told me that the only way to get anything accomplished with TWC is to continually badger them and speak to only managers because they have no incentive to please the customer (monopoly). Unfortunately they give you the phone ring-a-round every time you call! It made me insanely happy to see that I am not alone and that someone has taken action. You are hilarious. And awesome.

    P.S. If you are ever thinking about putting your account on vacation hold, just don’t. The seasonal department is totally incompetent. And they don’t even have a phone number. You can only reach them via email.

    March 26th, 2012 at 2:06 pm (#)

  49. Pete says:

    Awesome, thank you. I think TWC are the worst run company I’ve ever encountered. I have a service call scheduled for later this week (the earliest they could accommodate me), and while I am skeptical that they will turn up (they didn’t last time), they have badgered me every day with automated calls asking me to confirm that I still want the appointment. I have called customer service to confirm that their horrible product is still not working, but I continue to get the harassing phone calls. They seem very happy to waste my time, but paranoid about wasting theirs!

    What has working in the past if anyone here is having big problems with TWC is the BBB. They seem to fear them, and it does generate action.

    April 3rd, 2012 at 10:46 pm (#)

  50. Friday’s media round-up | Heave Media says:

    [...] Also, still hilarious but addressing something serious (TWC’s bullshittery of a business – we have had similar issues as described in this article), comedian Eugene Mirman paid $1100 to have his open letter to Time Warner Cable published in the Gazette. [...]

    April 27th, 2012 at 2:40 pm (#)

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    July 4th, 2012 at 2:32 pm (#)

  52. Seen from the Stoop: Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival, Soda Control, and One Angry Patrick Stewart | Park Slope Stoop says:

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  53. Tell Time Warner to go soak their heads by buying your own modem | Brokelyn says:

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  54. All aboard the Night Train, with your conductor, Wyatt Cenac | Brokelyn says:

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  55. Anna Eanes says:

    I feel your pain. I am a contractor working out of town, and renting an apartment while away from home. They have schedule an appointment twice with me and not showed up, and called me another day wondering why I was not home for my appointment. Been to my apartment around four or five time to repair the cable, and I still do not have the correct box for one of my TV’s (HD). I have had their service for nine months. I think I would of been better off if I would of talked to monkey’s and had them order the equipment and schedule the appointments. I am here to work, not to visit with Time Warner.

    February 3rd, 2013 at 2:18 am (#)

  56. Anna Eanes says:

    cont>
    I also forgot to mention that the apartment would not allow any other cable, and cannot sign 24 month contract on dish. Also my cable connection in the bedroom did not work, so I have wires from the living to the bedroom because they are too lazy to fix it. In Texas, Time Warner can not run the wire, I had to (so I am the installer), which was a waste of a service call.

    Reason for no other cable.

    February 3rd, 2013 at 2:33 am (#)

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  58. Time Warner Tells You What the Consumer Wants | The Mang Dynasty Report says:

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  59. Everything You Need To Know About The Piracy-Battling Copyright Alert System | ccnew says:

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  60. TWC SUCKS says:

    I had phone/internet/tv with TWC for several years at a price I was ok with. When I tryed to renew they said my discount that I renewed every six months was no longer available. I had to accept a new package with a different price but was promised the same channels. I discovered that was not so and lost my encore channels. They said they missed that I had Encore and would give me Encore free for my one year agreement. After on month I started getting billed again for Encore. I called back and was told by another customer service rep I would get $10 a month off for the Encore mistake for one year. The next month there was no $10 discount. I called again and was told that the rep that promised thd $10 discount has no memory of ever say that and never entered the info in her records. I then requested that a manager listen to the conversation I had about the $10 discount since they record their calls. They said they would and would call back in a couple days. That was four months ago. I am up for my one year renewal and will demand this be resolved before I renew anything. I am less angry about the money than the fact I sent multiple emails and calls to the first two customer service reps in this story which were ignored and the second rep even denied ever promising me a discount. I think the only way to deal TWC is to threaten to cancel their services. This is not about money as much as outright lying by their customer service reps.

    May 25th, 2013 at 9:42 pm (#)

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  64. Abhijeet Ubale says:

    Great job Eugene. TWC is equally pathetic here in Overland Park, KS. I was lied to by the Sales Rep. (Shaun) and to add insult to the injury the in-store agent (Candice) in Overland Park was rude and arrogant. She kept rolling her eyes to a customer’s question, could you believe that?

    I doubt if TWC really cares about their customers.

    October 31st, 2013 at 2:13 am (#)

  65. Sally Wilkinson says:

    Why I hate Time-Warner

    Can anyone tell me how to cancel Time-Warner TV service? For two days I have been in an infinite loop and still cannot get through to “Customer Solutions Department.” After being on hold for 90 minutes on one occasion and ending up loosing connection with Time-Warner, I am still a customer! Think twice before signing up with TIME-WARNER. It’s like quicksand: there’s no easy way to get out! Help!!!!

    November 8th, 2013 at 4:10 pm (#)

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